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OVERTHINKING PART THREE: 5 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

Today's the day! This is part three of the three-part series on overthinking. In the first part, we've learned about overthinking and about why we do it. You can catch up HERE if you missed it. Part two was about different strategies we can use in order to stop the cycle of overthinking. The full blog is HERE if you missed this one.

Today, we're going to go over five different questions that we can ask ourselves that will help us stop the process of overthinking. Watch the video or keep reading for more.


The very first question is:
"What would I like instead?"

Let's say you are feeling down, or you keep making up a story in your head. "Oh, I think he doesn't like me." "I think so-and-so at work did that." "I think that this might happen." Ask yourself: "What would I like instead? I'm making this up right now, because I don't really know for sure. I didn't ask the person. I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I'm making it up. So. if I'm making it up anyway, why don't I make something up that makes sense for me? What would I like instead?"

Start making up something that will work for you! Remember what we've learned last week about our response and about the kind of chemicals we want to receive in our body. We want the good stuff. So, if you make up something good, your brain will most likely send you some feel-good chemicals that will make you resourceful and able to face the situation you need to face.

Second question: 
"What am I learning?"


If it's something that you've done, something that has happened already, ask yourself: "What am I learning?" And if it's something that has not happened yet, but you're scared and uncomfortable going into a new challenge, ask yourself: "What will I learn? In a year from now, when I look back at this, what will I have learned?" What is your positive learning?

Third question:
"Is this true?"

Very often, we overthink things in our head, and we make things up. Ask yourself: "Is this true? Is this always true? Is this the ultimate truth? Do I have the assurance from the person that that's really what they meant? This thing that I think about myself, is it really true? Is there any moment in my life that this could not be true?" For example, let's say you think you're afraid. Is this always true? More likely, it's not. "Well, yeah, that's right. When I'm with that person, when I'm with my kids or when I'm with my husband, I'm not always afraid. I'm not “always” like that." So ask yourself: "Is this true?"

"Is this true?" Very often, we overthink things in our head, and we make things up. Ask yourself: "Is this true? Is this always true? Is this the ultimate truth? Do I have the assurance from the person that that's really what they meant? This thing that I think about myself, is it really true? Is there any moment in my life that this could not be true?" For example, let's say you think you're afraid. Is this always true? More likely, it's not. "Well, yeah, that's right. When I'm with that person, when I'm with my kids or when I'm with my husband, I'm not always afraid. I'm not “always” like that." So ask yourself: "Is this true?"

Question number four is:
"How would I feel if it wasn't true?

And when you ask yourself how you would feel, try it on, think hard. Because if you start wondering how it would feel, more likely you're stopping the pattern, so your body is going to stop sending signals to the brain saying that you're feeling bad.

Question number five is:
"When can I schedule time to think about a solution?

Sometimes, we do need some time to think about things. Thinking is a good thing. Overthinking is not. We can plan it! This is what the last question is about. "When can I schedule time to think about a solution?" Very often, we start overthinking while we are busy doing something else. We're at work or with our friends, and then we start overthinking about stuff. When this happens, ask yourself: "When can I schedule some time to think about a solution?" And maybe you can even plan a time to talk to somebody about this so that they can help you brainstorm on a solution!

Now, careful. I'm not talking about scheduling some time to go for coffee with a friend and just rant and vomit your problems so that they can say: "Oh, no, it sucks for you." This is not what this is about. It's about scheduling time to think about a solution. "How am I going to get out of this? What am I going to do differently? And what should I do to start the process of fixing this now?" 

Hopefully by now, with this series’ help, you feel better equipped to face certain situations. Overthinking is a vicious cycle, but the tools I've shared with you these past few weeks will help you overcome it. Thank you for tuning in!


DO YOU DOUBT YOURSELF SOMETIMES?

Tired of hearing this nagging voice inside your head? Download your copy of the Confidence Guide to discover the 15 Keys to Find Confidence & Unlock Your Full Potential.

The Guide includes: 

  • The List of the 15 Keys to Confidence
  • Questions for You to Assess Your Current Situation
  • Questions for You to Take Action

Check out some of my previous blog posts...

Overthinking Part One: Why Do We Overthink?

Overthinking Part Two: 4 Strategies to Stop Overthinking

3 Simple Moves that Affect Your Brain's Ability to Think

Nathalie

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