Spring is officially here, and when I say spring, you may think about spring cleaning. Did you know your house is not the only thing you should clean? Your mind could use a scrub as well. Check out last week's full blog HERE if you missed it.

If you break up with someone, you may find yourself saying: "It's not you, it's me." What about the opposite? "It's not me, it's you." If you break up with someone, it's because there's something about them that doesn't work. But what if it was both? This can apply to any situation... at work as well of course. Watch the following video or keep reading for more.

Whether you get let go at your job, you don't get along with a co-worker, or you're an entrepreneur and are trying to establish a connection with a potential client but they end up not choosing you, these are all "break ups" in some way. If your potential client chooses someone else, they might say: "It's not you, it's me." Or: "We're looking for something else." But really, they're just trying to save your ego from being hurt. Because really, there's something about you that didn't fit with them.

We all have our own meta programs, our very own internal drivers, our own ways of being motivated and inspired. Meta programs control the other systems in our mind.

When I work with corporations, for example, we establish if people are "big picture" oriented or "detail" oriented. These are a couple of the meta programs I'm talking about. People that are “big picture” will be very unhappy in a job where they need to break down all the details, because they're good at looking at the big picture to make every part connect together. Meanwhile, the “detail” people will not be able to see the big picture.

This is stuff corporations should know, because a team should involve all the different types. Very often, too much letting go happens for the wrong reasons. It's because people apply for positions they THINK they would like (or they may like the salary or the title that comes with it), but they just don't have the meta program they need in order to thrive and be happy in that role.

Some people, for example, would be unhappy in a job that requires them to solve problems that happened in the past, because they are geared "towards". Their meta program is more towards creating something new and gaining new customers instead of going back to fix past challenges. On the other hand, a lot of people are fixers and they like trying to fix things.

The most important thing to remember is that communication is the key. We need to identify all the team members' strengths and make sure that everybody fits together. Not every manager has to be the same, but they all bring something to the team. This way, whenever you have leadership meetings, you have access to many different points of view.

From a love and romance point of view, let's say you are in a relationship and you're just about to break up. Well, maybe before getting there, there's a way to communicate and try to identify if the person you're with really fits with you. Agreed, sometimes it's not. Sometimes, it does need to end. You realize that that the two personalities are not a fit or there's not enough passion or there's not enough love. And if you're not feeling it, and you're not breaking up with that person, then you're keeping them from meeting the person that they're supposed to meet, because obviously it's not you.

The same thing goes for corporations. Maybe if you are not communicating and you're not getting along, it's time to find a new job or it's time, as the employer, to find a new employee. If you are an entrepreneur and you're working for yourself and you are facing some tasks, maybe it's time for you to delegate and find other people that are good at the things you struggle with. Or maybe it's time for you to learn a new skill!

It always comes back to this: Who are you? Spend some time on yourself to figure that out. "What am I? What is my style? What are my meta programs?" Over 60 of them were identified. I personally work with about 14 or 15 when I work in corporations or when I do one-on-one coaching.

Hopefully, this turned on some light bulbs in your daily tasks or in your relationships at home. Because we are all different. We need everybody in life. Sometimes, it's just time to say goodbye, and sometimes, it's time to work for it. It does take two to tango. It's never just "you" or just "me".

We always have a part to play in whatever is happening to us and we can become everything that we want to be. What's important is knowing ourselves and knowing that if there are some pieces of ourselves that we don't like, well, maybe it's time to go acquire that skill and be willing to change.


People don't leave their job, they leave the co-worker they can't stand or the boss they don't respect. People don't leave their marriage either. They leave the spouse that doesn't listen to them or that doesn't "GET" them.

Download your FREE copy of the THINK Yourself® A RELATIONSHIPS PRO Daily Reference Guide and get to know the four types of people around you.

The Guide includes:

  • What are the four Personality STYLES?
  • What does each STYLE intent, seek and desire?
  • What are each STYLE's strengths and weaknesses?
  • What does each STYLE dislike?

Check out some of my previous blog posts...

Are You Chasing Two Rabbits?

How to Use Low Hanging Fruit to Your Advantage

How to Go Beyond Your Limits

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