If you missed my blog these past couple of weeks, we've been talking about imposter syndrome. You know, the feeling when you feel like a fraud or like you just don't belong? In PART ONE, we've identified what causes imposter syndrome and in PART TWO, we have learned about tools we could use to help nip it in the bud.

Today is the final part of the Imposter Syndrome Series. Let's go over three powerful questions that will contribute to eliminate imposter syndrome. We then will be doing a visualization exercise together. I recommend you watch the video version of the blog if you want to have the full effect of the visualization exercise, but I have also included the text version below...

IMPOSTER SYNDROME

Imposter syndrome is an emotion, a feeling that we have when we feel like we don't deserve the position that we're in, that we don't belong, that we are a fraud. We have difficulty accepting our own accomplishments, and we feel like we don't deserve others' praise. The first question you can ask yourself when you feel that way is the following.

"WHAT HAVE I ACCOMPLISHED IN THE PAST?"

Instead of comparing yourself to others, which, we've learned in part one, isn't quite fair, since we tend not to see other people's flaws, compare yourself to yourself. Ask yourself: "What have I accomplished in the past?"

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Make a have-done list. What have you succeeded at in the past? Your past successes will really help you accept the position that you're in. Have that list available and keep it close by so you can always refer to it whenever you feel that imposter syndrome creeping back into your life.

"WHAT HAVE I LEARNED IN THE PAST?"

Learn from your past. What did you learn from your past experiences? What were your positive learnings? Even from experiences where you were really uncomfortable, even from events that you would qualify as horrible, look back at these experiences and ask yourself what you have learned from them.  

"Failure is an opportunity to begin again, more intelligently."

 I absolutely love this quote. So ask yourself: What did you learn so far in your journey? This question will definitely bring you into resourceful mode, as opposed to be holding you back and making you think that you are fraud.

"WHO CAN HELP WITH THIS OR WITH MY IMPOSTER SYNDROME?"

Who knows about this more than you? Who can help? Who has done this before and could potentially help you fast track so that you don't have to make all of the mistakes that they made?

Very often, we are guilty of wanting to figure out everything on our own and thinking that it has to be that way. While it is true that there's a certain value to making your own mistakes, with the speed at which business is going now, sometimes we don't have time, or we don't have the resources to make all the mistakes that everybody else did.

Try to surround yourself with people who can help. You can have a mastermind group, you could have accountability partners, you could join associations that are doing the same type of work that you are doing. You can join groups of friends. You can even look at your friendships. Who's surrounding you, and who do you spend your time with? Are they resourceful people, or are you the smartest person in the room? If so, you might be in the wrong room. Make sure that you surround yourself with people that can help you.

Something that made a huge difference for me is when I took my wallet out and I decided to hire somebody that could do this better than I could, or that could teach me how. At this time, right now, as I'm reporting this, I have three different coaches that I'm paying. I'm a coach! And people say: "Why do you have coaches? You are a coach. Why don't you coach yourself?" Because I haven't read all the books in the library! I've read a lot of books and I can help a lot of people, but there are so many more books that I haven't read yet, that I don't have time to read.

Trust that somebody else knows more than you about this, and ask for help.

LET'S VISUALIZE

Let's step into the visualization that I promised. You're gonna sit back now and figure out what it is that you really want to do. Figure out what it is that is your ultimate goal. If you feel like a fraud, like an imposter, in what area of your life does this feeling arise?

Is it in the dating world that you feel like you don't deserve a partner that will love you for who you are? Is it at work? Are you aspiring to a higher position in the company that you work for, and you feel like you don't belong? Are you already in a position within a corporation that makes you feel like you are an imposter, and you are not sure what you're doing there and you're just pretending? Are you an entrepreneur that is building a business, just trying to stay afloat, and faking it because you don't believe that you belong there, or that people will ever buy from you?

Figure out in which situation you want to do this exercise. Once you've chosen, you will focus on what you want.

Start by visualizing the environment of this goal. What do you see around you? Close your eyes and see everything that you need to see in that environment. See all the people that are surrounding you in that environment. Who is there, who is supporting you? With what type of people do you need to surround yourself to achieve this goal?

Then, move up to the second layer that we need to address, the behaviors. What are the things that you need to do? What are the actions that you need to pose every day? As you visualize yourself reaching this goal, what are the things that you do on a regular basis?

Then moving up to level three, skills. What are the skills that you need to use? What are you really good at? The things that you are absolutely amazing at? And what are the skills that you need to become better at? What are the skills that you might have to acquire? Are there any courses you want to take? Are there any coaches you want to hire to get these skills, to get better?

Then we're moving into level four, beliefs and values. What is important to you? Start with values. What is really important to you, and that will drive you to reach that goal? And what is important to you about this goal specifically? And what is important to you in life in general? Is reaching this goal in line with your values? And what are the beliefs that will serve you? What do you need to believe in order to reach that goal? What are the beliefs that you need to have? What are the beliefs that people that have reached that goal before you have believed so that they could reach it? Are there any limiting beliefs that you need to let go of that are not serving you?

Level five, now, your identity. Who do you need to be to reach that goal? As you are reaching this goal right now, who are you? When you say: "I am..." How do you end this sentence? I am [blank]. What do you need to be? Who do you need to be in order to reach that goal? And people that have reached that goal before you, when you look at them and you say: "Oh, they're so... I wish I was like that." What is it? What characteristic, what is the "I am [blank]" that is required in order to reach that goal?

And finally, the last level, purpose. Why? Why do you want to reach this? Beyond yourself now. Who else are you serving? Other than yourself, who will benefit from you reaching that goal? Who else is involved in this that will actually get a positive impact because you're reaching that goal? Why really do this?

According to the research of Robert Dilts, these are the six layers of a person's self. The six layers of the brain that you need to take advantage of, and that you need to address in order to really let it sink in and visualize your goal. Now that you have placed the information into each of these layers, create a big movie with this goal. With the environment, the behaviors, the things that you do, the things you're good at, the beliefs that you need to have, the things that are important to you, yourself, your own identity, who you are, and everybody that you are helping...

See everything that you need to see, hear everything that you need to hear, feel everything you need to feel. Once you have done that, and your movie is the best that it can be, pretend there's a button on the right-hand side that says "Awesome", and crank it up. Take this movie and place it on your timeline in your near future.

This is what you tell your personal assistant in your head to work on. Your unconscious mind. The most complex and powerful structure in the universe will now help you achieve this. It will put you in the elevator at the right place at the right time, it will make you resourceful, it will make you say intelligent things when you're put into situations that would actually help your goal. It will make you think of ideas, it will make you feel like waking up early to work on this.

Congratulations everyone! This was the one mental exercise to eliminate imposter syndrome and the three powerful questions to ask yourself whenever it happens. Hopefully, the imposter syndrome series was a helpful series that gave you useful tools and strategies.

If there's something I can help you with, just feel free to reach out.


DO YOU NEED A LITTLE PUSH TELLING YOUR PERSONAL ASSISTANT WHAT YOU WANT?

Your unconscious mind is the most powerful structure in the universe. It can process up to 2.3 million piece of information every second! It's like your very own personal assistant in your head, listening to what you want...

...except sometimes, it can be hard to figure what exactly you want to tell this assistant. Good news: I can help! Book a FREE Virtual Coffee with me so that we can start the process of getting you unstuck now.


Want more? Check out the previous parts...

What Causes Imposter Syndrome?

IMPOSTER SYNDROME

4 Tools to Face Imposter Syndrome


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