"When the night has come..." We've all heard this song, right? And we all know how the chorus goes: "Stand by me" Right? It's a song from Ben E. King, even though John Lennon is the one who made it more popular in the seventies.  I must admit, it made me stop and wonder: "Who stands by me? Is it only one person or are there more than one? Does everybody have a person?" Watch the following video or keep reading for more...

At the end of the day, "when the night has come and the land is dark and when the moon is the only light you see", you're going to need somebody to stand by you. A version of this song that I particularly like starts with a narration at the beginning, and it goes: "No matter who you are, and no matter where you're from, at one point, you are gonna need somebody to stand by you." I totally agree with that. We need people in our life. We all go through life at different paces, and we all have different paths, but one thing remains: We need our people.

I feel like we're all in a huge library, the library of life. We're all there, reading books. Sometimes, some people go really deep into specific books, and they get really good in those areas. Then, they can help the people that haven't read these books. Sometimes, I've read a book or a series of books, and I myself can help people that haven't read these books yet, or maybe we're reading the very same book, but I'm two chapters ahead, so I can help them fast-track and skip the chapters that they haven't read yet.

I know sometimes, we don't want to ask for help. We don't want to admit that we need help, but when we have a cavity, we go to the dentist and we don't feel ashamed of having to go. It's normal! Everybody eats food, food gets stuck and we need the dentist, who has special tools, to repair the cavities. Even if you brush your teeth and floss, if you have a cavity, it's not going to just disappear: You need the dentist, the person that has read the book on that. Right?

The same applies to coaching. That's why I work with a lot of leaders in corporations. Everybody looks up to them, but what about them? When they need help, who do they go to? So I do a lot of work with leaders like that because everybody needs a fresh set of eyes sometimes. I do have many coaches myself. I have a coach when I work on my keynote, I have a coach that helps me with the back end of my business, with all my funnels, with all my digital strategy... I also have accountability partners. I have a mastermind group, three other people. We meet together on a regular basis for three hours at a time. We really dig deep and we have retreats planned together.

The rule is simple: Find who is in your inside circle and who is in your outside circle. This is a concept that was brought to my attention in a CAPS community that I was in. I thought it was brilliant.

In the inner circle are the people that you help. And whenever you seek help, you reach out to the outer circle. Always make sure that you go towards the people that are in the outer circle when you need help in a certain area. For example, a mother would not ask her children to help with her banking, right? The people that are inside her circle are her children, those are the people she helps. She seeks out for advice.

Try to identify where the people in your life stand. Some of your friends might be in your inner circle and also in your outer circle. Sometimes, they can be in both. I have helped people with something, and in return, they've helped me with something else.

Make sure you identify which circle you are targeting whenever you are seeking help or whenever you are helping somebody. Who is your person? Do you have many people? Are you seeking help when you need some? Are you proud of it? Because it's part of life. It's perfectly normal and no matter where you are, no matter where you're from, at some point, you're gonna need somebody to stand by you.

I guess this blog would not be complete without mentioning my main people: my husband Duff and my parents who are always there for me, no matter what. Thank you for being “my people”.


Everyone needs a fresh set of eyes sometimes. Book your FREE Virtual Coffee with me so that we can start the process of getting you unstuck.

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