HOW TO FACE YOUR FEAR
Last week, I spoke about coming out stronger. If you missed it, you can catch up HERE.
I would like to share a story with you today. It's a quite old story. I think I was around 15 years old the first time I heard it, and it actually got me to be elected as class president when I was 17 years old! Discover it below... Watch the video to get a visual at the same time.
Let's say you take a two-by-four, you know, a piece of lumber. You put it on the ground and you tell someone: "If you walk on that two-by-four, I'll give you 20 bucks." That's a pretty low stake, right? It's 20 bucks. That's cool. It's very easy to walk on, especially since it's on the ground.
One first guy comes along and says: "Yeah, sure, I'll do it for 20 bucks." He walks across. A young lady wearing flat shoes comes next and says: "Yeah, no problem. I'll do it for 20 bucks." She walks across the two-by-four as well. Then, a lady wearing high heels comes and you tell her the same thing. She says: "Well, I don't know about doing it in high heels, but hey, what the heck? 20 bucks! Why not?" She does it! She walks on it, gets to the other end, and gets the 20 bucks.
Now, let's change a few parameters of the story. Let's take that very same two-by-four piece of wood that all three of them have been able to cross easily, without any fear, but this time around, let's put it in between two 20-story buildings. All three of them are on top of the building, looking at this two-by-four. You say: "Okay, I'll give you 20 bucks if you cross the two-by-four." Of course, all three of them are very opposed to this idea: "No way! This is not happening. I am not crossing this two-by-four that is so high up in the sky! This is insane. I am not doing this."
Let's change the parameters again, then: "How about for $100,000? Would you do it for a hundred grand?" The first guy goes: "You know what? I'm out. And not only am I out, I have vertigo." Well, he's gone. The lady with the flat shoes and the lady with the high heels remain. The lady with the high heels says: "You know what? A hundred grand? I'm in." So, she starts slowly walking on that two-by-four, and as she comes closer to the point where the building ends and there's nothing underneath her feet, she actually turns around and she says: "You know what? Not worth it. I'm not doing it. This is not happening." And she turns right around.
Let's raise the stake again, shall we? "What about a million dollars? Would you do it for a million dollars?" The two ladies talk amongst themselves, and come to a conclusion: "You know what? That's not happening. We're out. We're not doing it." The lady with the high heels leaves.
One last time now: Let's change it up. Now, only the lady with the flat shoes is standing at the top of the first building, but the second building is on fire and her baby is stuck on the roof of the second building. Is she going to cross the two-by-four? Absolutely, no hesitation. She runs over, she grabs her baby and she walks back. She does it twice, back and forth, to save her baby, because now, it's worthwhile.
For some people, a certain amount of money will do it. They will try. They might not go through with it, but some might. For other people, even a great amount of money won't do it. And for some people, it takes a strong WHY. It takes a very, very strong reason. And once you have a strong reason to do something, once you have a strong WHY, then there is no more fear. The young woman with the flat shoes totally forgot about her fears when her baby was stuck on the roof of the second building. She just crossed without even second-guessing herself, because all of a sudden it was worth it.
What are your goals? What is your two-by-four? WHERE is your two-by-four? Maybe the things that you're doing every day are easy, but maybe all you're getting is 20 bucks. Maybe there is no risk in your life, but maybe you're not getting the very big reward either. Maybe there are fears that keep you from crossing that high-risk building, that two-by-four in between the two buildings. And maybe these fears are keeping you because there is no strong WHY that has been defined.
One of the first steps to any goal is asking yourself: "What will this do for me? Why is this really important for me? Is this really a goal? Is this really what I want?" Think about your WHY and think about the reason why you might start towards a goal, but turn around once you start feeling the fear, just like the lady for a hundred thousand dollars. Sometimes, it's because the reason why you're doing it has not been defined clearly enough. For a hundred thousand dollars, there's no way she wanted to do it. However, if a loved one had been on the second building when it was on fire, she would have more likely went, just like the lady with the flat shoes.
So, what is your WHY? Start going deeper and deeper into why it is that you want to do what you want to do. Once it's clear in your head, that no matter what, no matter what obstacle, you will push through, then you will forget your fear, because you will know that it is absolutely worth it. Find this strong WHY that will continue to drive you and make you be able, capable, and brave to face your fears.
DO YOU DOUBT YOURSELF SOMETIMES?
Tired of hearing this nagging voice inside your head? Download your copy of the Confidence Guide to discover 15 Keys to Find Confidence and Unlock Your Full Potential.
The Guide includes:
- The List of the 15 Keys to Confidence
- Questions for You to Assess Your Current Situation
- Questions for You to Take Action
Check out some of my previous blog posts...
How to Find Your Path
How to Reach Your Aims & Aspirations
How to Become the Best Version of Yourself