Maureen McGrath, host of the Sunday night Sex Show on News Talk 980 CKNW, Sex Educator and author of Sex & Health, explains how we can “get back at it” in our marriages today. 20% of all marriages are sexless and so many end up in divorce. She discussed how a married couple can have all three: Love, Marriage and Sex.

She mentioned at her #TEDxStanleyPark how there is a chemical responsible for excitement and euphoria when we meet someone for the first time and when we start being sexually interested in them. This chemical lowers with sexual frequency, hence the importance of keeping it fresh in the bedroom. The key is communication and education. You need to “train” your partner and be opened to be “trained” by your partner. She gives a great analogy of going on a trip with your partner by train. You are having this great journey and you are just about to get to this amazing destination you are going to, and just before getting there, your partner gets off. Frustrating. Creating negative neuro-pathways in your brain around sex in general. Your idea of sexuality should get you excited and glowing.

The good news is that it is never too late to start having a healthy sex life. You can have sex way into your 90’s. It is never too late for make up sex. She mentions that “All marital arguments should be settled in the bedroom. Naked.”

A few of McGrath’s tips:

Spend more time in the bedroom than in the board room. Otherwise, your bedroom can become a bored room.

Pay more attention to your spouse than your smartphone.

Fantasy is key.

Make sure your partner is taken care of.

If at the idea of sex you are rolling your eyes, not only your partner may need some training, and also, you may have some re-wiring to do in your brain. Neuro-linguistic Programming can help you with that. As an NLP Master Practitioner, I help people re-wiring their neuro-pathways for what they want and how they want to react. Contact me so that I can help you re-wire yourself to a great sex life!