Have you ever felt like you don't fit in? You know, that unwanted imposter's syndrome... My blog last week was all about that. Read or watch it HERE if you missed it.

Could you potentially be setting yourself up to be challenged again and again and again? What I mean by that is when you're facing a crisis, are you taking fully advantage of what you're going through? I know you're probably wondering: "What is there to take advantage of when we're going through a crisis?" Keep reading of watch the following video for more...

Living in the world that we live in has caused for a lot of people to question even the purpose of their own existence. And when something traumatic happens, like what we've been living since 2020, we tend to say: "It's going to be fine. Let's hang in there." While yes, time is magic, what if we don't want to wait? What if we want to feel good today? How can we fast track the process? The crisis that you're going through is happening FOR you, not TO you, and whatever is happening, it's not designed for you to just work hard and push through it. It's designed to teach you something and make you grow.

If you don't do anything about it, and you just wait until you feel better and get back on your feet, then you may not really get the full benefits of the crisis. You're wasting a good crisis, and you may not grow. You may just make the same mistakes in the future. I'm not saying that the crisis was your fault. I'm saying that more likely, you had to learn something that will serve you in the future.

I know things are getting back to kind of normal now, so let's make sure we don't lose track of what we're supposed to take from this. Otherwise, we've wasted a really good crisis.

And it doesn't have to be just the pandemic or the economic situation that we're in. The passing of a close family member or a friend, or a divorce, a breakup, losing your job, or letting go of an employee that you thought was a good fit, a change in your career, communication with your fast-growing teenagers, business challenges, any other significant changes. Let's take a breakup, for example, or leaving your job.

The dating part was amazing. You started your job, you loved it. You got to know your coworkers, you got to know your partner, and potentially, very kind people grew together to suddenly become not so nice to each other, fighting and breaking up or colliding and quitting, or having to be let go. Personalities can start colliding at work. Although you may have thought this was the dream candidate or the dream job at the interview level, it turns out that it was not a good fit. It happens.

Whatever the situation, you could either put your head in the sand, move on and step right into the next relationship of position, OR you could figure out what the learnings are. By burying your head in the sand, you'll be stepping in the next personal or professional relationship making potentially the same mistakes that could have maybe saved the first relationship in the first place. If you're going through a challenge or anything that makes you uncomfortable, don't make the mistake of just putting your head down and hustling through it.

Take some time to step back in and fix the problem where it belongs. What do I mean by that? How do we do that? There are three main areas that you need to go into to break down the lesson that you're learning. I'm referring here to the last three neurological levels of my D.N.A. System, which is based on the research of Robert Dilts, that demonstrated that there are six levels to a person's self. Why am I mentioning only three? Because we usually are very good at identifying the first three levels. Let's see...


Maybe they quit their job because it was too far away, because there was an hour and a half commute to get there. This is quite easy to identify.


Maybe the actual job description did not fit. People can figure it out. You are normally very good at identifying if you did not have the skills, or if the candidate that you hired did not have the skills.

What I'm really referring to is the three layers that we tend to ignore and just move on into the next relationship without having made any changes in these neurological levels.


This is where we do a lot of our self-sabotage. We tend to not follow the things that are important to us, and therefore, we are creating limiting beliefs that make us keep going and keep at it, and we keep hammering nails in our own feet and we keep making the crisis worse.

This has got to stop. Start asking yourself what is it that you need to believe in order to get through this. Whatever is happening to you at that moment, what it is that you need to believe? You need to believe that you are made for this job, or that this relationship is going to work, or that you need to make the commitment, for example.

It's also about what is important to you. Yes, sometimes, you jump into a relationship and when there's a breakup, it's because your values are colliding. It's very common. Start there. What is really important to you? In your next relationship, whether personal of professional, you need to look for someone that shares the same values.


Who do you need to be? Who do you need to learn how to become more of in order to get to the other side? Sometimes, this is where we need the most help, because we're wondering: "How do I figure out who I need to be?" You may need to look at your personality. You may need to look at your own meta programs, to figure out what drives you and that makes you the person that you are.

If there's something that you can potentially improve to step into the next relationship better, then that would be a good idea. Otherwise, you might just continue to not be the person that you really want to be and to bring the same mistakes into the next relationship.


Purpose is also very important. Why is it important that you get through this? You're right in the middle of a crisis, and then you're asking yourself: "Why am I doing this in the first place? What is the reason behind the whole reason? Who else am I serving with this?" When we get into purpose, it's no longer about us. It's no longer about our own identity. It's no longer about what's important to us and our own beliefs. The first five layers are personal, but when you get into purpose, it's no longer about yourself.

Let me give you a very simple example. I went through a pretty heavy month. I was super busy. I was working a lot more than normal, than I would've liked to. And it's okay. We like being busy and I normally can handle quite a bit. The timing was just off because at the same time, my husband had had a bike accident and needed me to be more involved in a lot of household chores. He does a lot for me and as I temporarily had to pick up the tasks, which is perfectly normal and which I was happy to do, it did add on to the busy state I was in.

My purpose is what drove me. At the end of the day, my husband is a lot more important than anything that I was doing. It was easier for me to push through what I had to go through because my higher purpose was that I needed to get rid of these tasks to free up some time to help my husband.

There's a bigger purpose and a bigger picture than the task that is at hand. It's not: "I don't like this task. It's challenging." It's like: "I need to do this because I have better things to do or I have more meaningful things to do, a better 'why' behind something."

The next time that you're going through a challenge or an existential crisis, if something challenges you, make sure that you revisit your beliefs, your values, your identity, and then your purpose, because it will greatly help you in putting in perspective. And it will give you that piece that will be able to cover maybe the fear that's inside this challenge, looking inwards.

By trusting yourself, you will become braver. And bravery is usually that piece that you need in order to let go of the fear. Instead of choosing fear, you choose to be brave. You choose to be resourceful, you're at your best. And when you're at your best, you can face everything. So, what is the crisis that you're going through right now? Don't waste it. It is teaching you something for sure. It's your time to get to the next level of your journey.


By trusting yourself, you will become braver. Once you have bravery, you can do anything. 

Download your copy of the Confidence Guide to discover 15 Keys to Find Confidence and Unlock your Full Potential!

The Guide includes:

  • The List of the 15 Keys to Confidence.
  • Questions for You to Assess Your Current Situation.
  • Questions for You to Take Action.

Check out some of my previous blog posts...

Why Are Gas Prices Rising?

How to Retain Employees

Three Things You Want People to Say About You

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