Is being late a lack of respect? That is a question many people have already answered, and most have decided that it is. But let’s look at how the brain organizes time, because not everyone is wired the same way.

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Our relationship with time is governed by what we call meta-programs — internal brain systems that influence motivation, work style, behavior, and even whether someone tends to be on time or late. These meta-programs shape how we experience the world. When it comes to time, there are two primary styles of organization: in time and through time.

IN TIME

People who are in time are fully present. When you are with them, they are truly with you. They listen, they engage, and wherever they are, that is where they are — completely. This is a powerful form of respect. You can feel it when someone is genuinely present. On the other hand, you can also sense when someone is not. They look around, check their watch, and their attention drifts. These individuals are typically through time, already mentally focused on what is coming next.

People who are through time are always thinking ahead. Their favorite phrase might be, “In the interest of time, we need to shorten this conversation.” They want to make sure they are on time for what is next, so their attention naturally shifts forward. Meanwhile, people who are in time can become so immersed in the present moment that they forget there is anything else happening afterward. Because of this, they may arrive late to the next appointment — not out of disrespect, but because they were being deeply respectful and present with the person they were just with.

When someone who is in time arrives late, it can be helpful to give them the benefit of the doubt. They were likely giving their full attention to the previous meeting. The good news is that when they are with you, they will offer you the same level of presence, time, and care. They will not rush you, and they will make space if you need a few extra minutes.

That said, if you recognize yourself in this profile, you may want to plan ahead a little more. Setting alarms or reminders can help you transition between appointments. In our society, chronic lateness can create real consequences, from missing important information at the start of meetings to potentially losing opportunities. Planning ahead allows you to protect both your presence and your professional commitments.

THROUGH TIME

People who are through time live in constant forward motion. They plan ahead, often far into the future. Personally, I am through time. My brain naturally operates that way, and I have to work very intentionally on being present. Even when I am enjoying time with friends, I find myself checking the clock, thinking about what is coming next, and planning years ahead. Five years ago, I already knew that in 2026 I would apply to be President of CAPS. That kind of long-range planning requires strong through-time skills and can be incredibly effective for achieving goals.

However, the trade-off is that you are not always fully present. This is why I consciously practice slowing down, listening, and reminding myself that whatever comes next has not started yet — and that right now is where I need to be.

As you move into 2026, this awareness can help you grow. Some people are in time. Some are through time. Neither is right or wrong. Being late is not automatically a sign of disrespect, and checking the clock is not either. These behaviors simply reflect how a person’s brain is organized around time.

The beautiful part is that the brain is malleable. Gray matter can change. We can create new neural pathways, retrain our habits, and learn to balance both styles. With awareness and practice, we can become a little more flexible, a little more present, and a little more prepared.

Have a wonderful 2026.

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