Why do we fall into the trap of treating the elite better than the everyday person? Why do we instinctively give higher regard to people of status? Today, I’ll explain what happens in your brain when this occurs and share a few reasons why we behave this way. While it may seem unfair, there’s something in our brains that benefits from it. Watch the video or keep reading to find out more.

But before diving into the science, I’d like to thank David Gouthro, a moderator and emcee extraordinaire, who conducted a fascinating experiment with us. Here’s how it went:

We each had to place a playing card on our forehead, without knowing which card it was. Some people had a king, others a seven, and some a two. Our task was to walk around the room and interact with each other based on the card on the other person’s forehead. If you saw a king, you were encouraged to be extra friendly and engage with them more. If it was a seven, you’d spend a little less time with them. And if someone had a two, you might just walk past without even acknowledging them.

As I walked around, I noticed that nobody was talking to me—everyone was passing by. I thought, “Well, that’s it, I must have a two or a three. I’m probably the lowest card in the deck.” The goal was to guess the card on your forehead by how others treated you and, at the end, line up against the wall based on your guess. The lower you believed your card to be, the further to one side of the room you’d stand; if you thought you had a king, you’d go to the other end.

Halfway through, David interrupted the experiment and revealed a crucial piece of information: the ace was actually the highest card, not the lowest. Suddenly, people started talking to me, treating me with more respect. I quickly realized that I must have the ace! When it was time to line up, I positioned myself as the highest card—and sure enough, I was.

It may have happened to you. Let’s say your neighbour never looked at you and one day, suddenly becomes very nice and friendly as he wants to borrow your lawnmower. Your lawnmower is now giving you a “higher status”.

So why do we do this? Why do we treat people differently based on perceived status?

You’ve probably experienced this in real life. You meet someone at a networking event and ask, “What do you do?” If they say they’re a janitor, you might politely move on very quickly. But if they say they’re the CEO of a multi-million-dollar company, suddenly you’re eager to engage. Or, when you spot a famous actress at the airport, you get excited and can’t wait to tell someone.

REWARD SYSTEM ACTIVATION

What’s happening here is that your brain’s reward system is being triggered. When you see someone of high status, it activates the dopaminergic pathway, which releases dopamine, a chemical responsible for feelings of pleasure and motivation. Interacting with high-status individuals makes us feel good, which is why we gravitate toward them.

AMYGDALA AND THREAT DETECTION

The second part of the brain involved is the amygdala, which is responsible for detecting threats. Imagine you’re out for a walk and see a large, unleashed dog growling at you. Your amygdala kicks in, and you start speaking kindly to the dog, saying, “Good dog, beautiful dog,” even though you’re scared. Similarly, when we interact with high-status individuals, our amygdala causes us to feel a bit of anxiety or concern, which in turn makes us act more deferentially because we perceive them as potentially powerful or threatening in a social sense.

OXYTOCIN AND PERCEIVED BENEFIT

The third key player in this process is oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone.” When we build trust with someone, our brain releases oxytocin, which makes us feel good. Social hierarchies play a role in this because we are more likely to trust and cooperate with someone of higher status, believing there may be a benefit to that relationship. We feel that bonding with someone of higher status could lead to potential advantages or opportunities.

This experiment, led by David Gouthro, got me thinking more deeply about how our brains are wired when it comes to social interactions. I hope you’ve gained some insight into why we fall into the status trap and treat people differently based on perceived rank. Thanks again to David for his thought-provoking experiment.

Thank you for reading. Join me next week for another blog on confidence and performance, as we continue to explore how to unlock your full potential.

Check out some of my previous blog posts...