Leadership can be tough, but staying cool under pressure is key! Watch the video or read the full article to get my top 3 tips to keep your zen.

Sometimes, when you're in charge, there's a lot of pressure. Everybody's looking up to you and expecting you to have all the answers. Often, a leadership position means you have more to take care of than everyone else on your team. Whether your leadership role is as the owner of your own business, an entrepreneur, or a leader within an organization, it doesn't matter. You might also be a mother or father, in charge of your children or other family members you're helping. It always comes with pressure and stress.

Because of that extra pressure, others may not understand what we're going through. We may not always be at our best and might react in ways we later regret. We have every right to be more stressed because there's so much more on our plate, and they have no idea what we're experiencing. Yet, we're supposed to be cool, collected, and always feeling zen. Here are three tools you can use when the pressure becomes overwhelming and you feel like there's too much on your plate.

1. Take a Pause

When you're in a meeting under pressure and people aren't moving as fast as you'd like, or someone asks a stupid question again, it's important to remain a cool, collected leader. The first thing to do is to take a pause before saying anything. Just say, "I will be right back. One sec, just one sec. I'll be right back." Then, find a corner where you can have a moment to de-escalate. This means you are in prefrontal cortex overload, leading with your emotions. You need to go back to your thinking brain, where you can control your emotions and respond appropriately. Take a breath, take a pause, and extract yourself from the situation for one minute. Just say, "Give me a second to think," and close your eyes if necessary.

A useful trick is to look up and visualize your phone number at the top of the ceiling, then try to say the numbers backward. This deep thinking helps de-escalate the prefrontal cortex and breaks the emotional loop. If you can't extract yourself to take a deep breath, use this visualization trick. I use it at funerals when I get emotional, even if I don't know the person. It helps to extract yourself from the emotional loop.

2. Listen Actively

When we are in a stressed state of mind, we are tempted to respond hastily. Instead, listen actively and say, "Tell me more, just so I understand." Recap what they said and don't share your thoughts immediately. Listen to the situation, ask for everyone's opinion, and understand their points of view. This often helps de-escalate your own state of mind because we usually don't have all the pieces. Understanding why others feel a certain way can calm your own emotions.

3. Ask Questions and Seek Solutions

There's a limiting belief that as leaders, we must have all the solutions. We think everyone looks up to us for answers, but we don't have to know everything. Your job is to extract solutions by asking, "What would you do?" or "What do you think we should do?" Make others feel resourceful and part of the solution. When you're about to lose it, say, "This is not a fun situation. What would you do?" Ask for their suggestions and give yourself time to regroup. You don't have to make a decision right away. Sleep on it and come back with a solution the next day.

At the end of the day, you will often make the final call. But by taking a pause, listening to others, and asking for their input, you can think more clearly. Even if it's your child, ask them, "What do you think I should do?" There's always a way to ask. If you can't ask for a solution, ask for some time. Say, "When do you need to hear about this?" and "What is my deadline?" This gives you time to think.

Hopefully, these tips work for you. Use them to remain a cool boss, not a stressed one.

People don't leave their job, they leave the co-worker they can't stand or the boss they don't respect.

People don't leave their marriage either! They leave the spouse that doesn't listen to them or that doesn't "GET" them!

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